The world that we live in is extremely different from any time before, mostly due to the internet. Living in a visually driven society that encourages everyone to share their opinions, their thoughts, their wins, their journeys, etc., I sometimes find myself feeling an unspoken pressure to be doing more, or moreso, questioning if I am not doing enough. *cues extreme anxiety and a panic attack*
For me, it’s this constant “pressure” to “keep up” that interrupts my focus, and leaves me with feelings of worry, nervousness, and uncertain about my present state and my future. Research has shown millennials are the most anxious generation, ever. Which brings me to my overall point, and one of my favorite reminders to self, Comparison is the Thief of Joy!
This phrase is basically just my personal reminder to refocus my thoughts when I find myself paying too close attention to what the next person is doing — and allowing it to affect me. Staring at perfectly sculpted bodies, I wonder if my boyfriend actually loves my petite frame. Seeing the genius business ideas, I question if my business matters. Fitfluencers with new workout programs and millions of followers, I wonder if Spiked Spin has a place in this industry. Am I pretty enough, am I smart enough, am I driven enough, am I strong enough, does this make sense, should I be doing this, should I be further along, will people support, and on and on and on and on and on… the spiral leads me to true insecurity and ridiculous thoughts.
It’s honestly crazy how quickly it happens! Just from minding someone else’s business and cross referencing their life with my own, my thoughts no longer reflect what God says about me, what I say about me, and most importantly don’t reflect the truth!
As a woman, a business person, a human, I had to get to a place where I no longer wanted to spend time wasting life comparing, I wanted to live fully and honor the gifts God has given me.
The first thing I did was, put on blinders. This does not mean that I didn’t support others, or became self centered, it means that my core focus shifted towards my own goals and self-evolution. The second thing I did was, watch my words. This was a little more difficult because it affected others. When I talked to friends, I could no longer gossip and talk shit, I literally had to intentionally speak through the most positive lens. I accepted that speaking negatively of others was really a reflection of my own issues, and with that in mind - shit had to change for me to reach my potential! And speaking of my own potential, I not only changed my speech about others, I changed my speech about myself. I feel like I unconsciously associated self sabotage with humility, or maybe I unconsciously never wanted to seem like I was doing “better than” others, so I would speak down about many of my accomplishments. Over time, that “humility” bled into how I spoke about my looks, my goals, my relationship, my life, and that weighed me down. These simple changes of my thoughts and my words have transformed my life to find the positive perspective in each part of my journey.
Beyond those things, I have sat with myself and accepted who I am. I will never have huge hips, or a tiny nose, or be tall, or quiet, or unopinionated, or whatever else people make me feel like I should be. I have sat with these insecurities and I have owned them. I literally open my mouth and thank God for each part of me that once made me feel inadequate, because I know that I was fearfully and wonderfully made exactly as I should be.
I will admit that becoming my best self requires a lot of self work, but it’s so worth it on the other side! Feeling self love is the greatest love I’ve ever experienced. You will never reach your full potential monitoring and comparing to what others have going on. Stay focused on how you can make yourself and others better, and your life will always be joyful!